Bob is set to fill in for Pepe as part-time cook at a local frat house, since the family needs the extra cash. Any worries he might have had about serving entitled rich kids with no respect for authority get put to bed quickly, though, when he arrives at the house to find it covered in toilet paper and its members bearing nicknames like Pud, Turd, and Hefty Jeff. There’s an upside down soda specifically for forts and the Betas, whose house is decidedly not fancy, say they haze with hugs. Meanwhile, Linda has been tasked with helping Gretchen with her “lady goods” parties, but she didn’t quite understand what that meant until Gretchen brought out the first vibrator and used it on her face in front of Louise, Gene, and Tina. Linda forces them out of the room, just as Bob is getting a tour of the Beta house, including the fellowship room (specifically for drinking and drinking games) and the Slowhand Crooner Corner, set up by an older Beta alum who won’t leave the younger brothers be.
Linda is forced to help Gretchen out during a particularly silent sales pitch, vouching for the solar powered vibrator that she was trying to hock by mentioning how it saved her marriage once Bob’s disorder turned him “sex bad.” It actually ends up working, though, and the woman they were targeting ends up ordering another model. At the frat house, Bob agrees to drive the boys to the library, only to be told to stop in front of the Alpha house so they can drop a fish in the air conditioning. He manages to get the campus cops off their back by pretending to be a driving professor and gets to drink beer from Beta, the stuffed house lizard, once they get back to the house as a thank you for helping them out.
The following day, Bob brings the kids to the frat house and finds out that Dr. Yap is the infamous Slowhand. Yap gives the kids a tour of the house, ending with the Room of Secrets that he won’t let anyone that’s not a brother inside, though Louise tries to pick the lock with a credit card to no avail. They return from the tour to find that the pictures from last night of Bob drinking from Beta and singing karaoke with the brothers are on the wall, upsetting Yap since Bob’s not a brother and he wasn’t called when the prank was happening. Elsewhere, Linda gets named a pleasurologist by Gretchen and given the white lab coat needed to hook Susan, a woman whose friends threw her a “lady goods” party to help her get her mind off a break up. Linda succeeds in introducing Susan to a model called Sneaky Pete, just as Bob arrives at the house to find Yap on the floor, his head shaved and Dork written on his chest. He claims it was the Alphas who broke in, did that to him, and took Beta.
After receiving threatening photos of Beta, Bob and the guys head off to the Alpha house, where they write “wiener” in the grass and throw water balloons at the door. The frat receives a letter from Dean Dixon that puts them on probation for the property damage they’ve caused and other such violations, but Yap has a plan for the Alphas he calls Operation Spit Take. While the Betas are busy planning their revenge, Gene, Tina, and Louise make it into the Room of Secrets through the laundry chute and find porn magazines, photos, and Beta, who was behind a photo of Dr. Yap’s pledge class. He stole it in order to initiate a prank war and get his brothers to retaliate against the Alphas, which they’re planning on doing that night at a banquet meant to honor the President of the Alphas for his work in raising money to fight cancer. The kids tell Bob and they all head to the banquet, which Yap is working as a waiter. His plan? He saved six months worth of patient saliva and put it into a pony keg. The other Betas, waiting under the stage, will break it and have it spray the Alpha president when he begins his speech. Rather than let that happen, Bob makes a scene by calling the Alpha president his twin brother and not-so-subtly signals the Betas to hold off on breaking the keg. The Betas come out from under the stage, just as Yap comes running in with a wrench and breaks the keg, soaking Bob instead of the Alpha president.
Bob and the kids make it to the restaurant where they run into Linda and Gretchen having a “lady goods” party with cougars, who hit on the frat guys that Bob brought with him.
Additional thoughts and observations:
-“You say that like we’re not rich.”
-“I want a magic vibrating club just like any other boy!”
-“You’re a sick old man.” “Is that a good thing?”
-“I can’t not step on cold pizza.”
-“This is the biggest mancave ever and Tina’s going spelunking.”
-“I have a cat under my bed.”
-“Oh, Beta’s starting his own fashion line.”
-I like how a comedy plot about a nerdy frat wasn’t about how they wanted to be cool or how Bob wanted to make them cool enough for him to hang out with. Say anything you want about Bob’s Burgers, but the show’s ethos of accepting oneself is pretty touching, especially since it extends beyond the Belcher family.
-However, the ending with the spit soaking Bob was very gross and I’m somebody who thought the anus episode was brilliant. It seemed a bit beneath the show for climax of the episode to be something like that.
-Tina wore the briefs she found in the laundry room for the rest of the episode. Amazing.
-Also amazing: Linda voicing Sneaky Pete and convincing Susan to buy him. I kind of wish that the size of the plots had been reversed and we spent more time with her at the sex parties than Bob at the frat house.
-Bob’s karaoke song is Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know”. Mine is Jane Child’s “Don’t Wanna Fall In Love“.
–Bob’s Burgers is on hiatus next week, but when the show returns in two weeks, the Belcher Thanksgiving gets sabotaged when somebody dumps Bob’s turkey in the toilet.